In my recovery group, if the minute hand reads :32 minutes after the hour and the meeting hasn’t started, someone will gently ask the chairperson, “What time does the 6:30 meeting start?” This will usually elicit some laughter from the attendees, and then the chairperson will start the meeting. However, this raises a bigger question: when does the meeting start?I recently went to a meeting out-of-town. When I sat down, I was asked if I was a visitor and, if so, what part of the country was home to me. I responded, and immediately someone made a joke about my home state. Then someone turned to me and made mention of the current civil unrest in my state. I wasn’t aware of any civil unrest, but the person talking to me seemed to be very knowledgeable about it. Needless to say, after only a few minutes in the meeting, I didn’t feel very welcome. I didn’t say anything and just waited patiently for the meeting to start, but I wondered, “If I had been a newcomer, would I have stayed in the meeting, or would I have made some excuse and left?
The Tenth Tradition reminds us that we have no opinion on outside issues. This tradition keeps us out of public controversies, such as those involving politics, religion, or other issues of the day. The purpose of this tradition is to maintain the unity and primary focus of the group—helping people recover from addiction. This position of neutrality helps us avoid divisiveness. Of course, individuals are free to hold personal opinions on current affairs, but once we cross the threshold of the group, we don’t express them. And it’s probably a good idea not to express them in the parking lot of the meeting either.
I often tell my sponsees that they need to attend the meeting before the meeting, then attend the meeting, and then attend the meeting after the meeting. At first, they look perplexed, but then the light bulb comes on, and they get it. In essence, what I’m saying is the minute you walk into the meeting we focus on recovery, whether that is 30 minutes before the meeting starts, or two minutes. Of course, we make small talk about the weather or sports, but we absolutely avoid controversial topics. Especially in these days of hyper-polarization, we want to remain a haven where people can come to the group and just focus on the 12 Step design for living.
So, to answer the question – what time does the meeting start? It starts as soon as the doors open and the coffee pot is brewing. It may be the meeting before the meeting, but for the newcomer, that may be the most important meeting of all.