Step 12:  …we tried to carry this message to alcoholics…

I started going to recovery meetings when I was 15. I heard in the meetings, “What the hell are you doing here?  I lost my wife, my kids and my job because of my drinking.  What the hell did you ever lose? 

“We thank God, from the bottom of our heart, that we know Him better.”
 ---Alcoholics Anonymous, page 75.

In early sobriety, it seemed like I didn’t know how I was going to feel in the next five minutes. My mood would swing from happy and grateful, to angry and hopeless, in what seemed like an instant. As I continued through the Retreat’s Outpatient program, I learned more about ways to ride out these huge waves of emotion. As I connected with other people in the program, I was able to talk about my frustrations with feeling my emotions were out of control and learn the different ways they had found balance. 

I have been given the opportunity to be a part of a group participating in what has been named, “The 90 Days Retreat.” It is an online group designed to cover several modules in the areas of self-growth. The first module being all about self-worth. Cue the heavy hitter right off the bat. Self-worth has been something I have struggled with most of my life, like many others out there. I find myself dealing with this idea of self-worth on a regular basis, from the way that I talk to myself and the language I use when I make a mistake let’s say, to the way that I question whether or not I should take a risk on myself and try something new, even as far as to questioning if I truly deserve happiness. This idea of self-worth ties into some similar feelings about shame that many of us in recovery grapple with throughout our journey. 

“What a task, I can’t go through with it,” said many a newcomer in recovery.  Expectation mitigation is important during early recovery. It’s important to remember that we “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We apply ourselves every day and we reapply after temporary setbacks. We strive for progress rather than perfection.  

Recovery is more than breaking free from addiction; it’s about reclaiming a healthier, more balanced life. Wellness in addiction recovery plays a crucial role when the focus is on rebuilding one’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Staying sober is not the only solution. Growing and thriving in every aspect of life is also important.

There are several myths that circulate in recovery meetings about our common recovery program.  This article attempts to dispel some of those.