---
title: Blog | Kevin J
description: The Next Step | Weekly Wisdom on Addiction, Recovery, Families, and Everything In-Between
---

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## Kevin J

![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/none-circle-1.png?width=35&name=none-circle-1.png)

## Recent Posts

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/andreas-fidler-400356-unsplash.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/try-harder)

## [TRY HARDER](https://blog.theretreat.org/try-harder)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Apr 18, 2018 9:30:00 AM / by [Kevin J](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/kevin-j) posted in [12 step program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-step-program), [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [12 steps of aa](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa), [AA Big Book](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)

[\[fa icon="comment"\] 1 Comment](https://blog.theretreat.org/try-harder#comments-listing)

I always learned that the cure for any hurdle was to “try harder.” Struck out in Little League? TRY HARDER next at bat. Low grade on a test? STUDY HARDER next exam. Didn’t close the sale at work? TRY HARDER next customer. The message was to keep doing what you’re doing…but TRY HARDER! Can’t stop drinking? TRY HARDER. When I tried as hard as I could to stop drinking and using drugs and found that I could not on my own will, I tried harder in other areas of my life. Surely success in those areas would offset my utter failure to control and enjoy my drinking! That logic seemed unbeatable. But experience taught I am not. And thus the great paradox of recovery reared its beautiful head in my life. To make progress, to find sobriety, to find happiness, I had to STOP TRYING. (WHAT??)

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