When I think about the history of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) I am reminded of three significant transformational moments. The first moment occurred in late November 1934, when Bill Wilson’s old drinking buddy Ebby Thacher dropped in on Bill for a visit. Bill was looking forward to tying one on with his old friend, but Ebby refused Bill’s offer to have a drink. Ebby told Bill he had found religion and didn’t need “the drink” anymore. Bill wasn’t impressed and surmised that his gin would outlast his friend’s preaching (Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 9). Ebby pressed Bill encouraging him to develop a relationship with God.
Bill, being a WWI combat veteran, had witnessed firsthand some of the worst fighting the world had ever known. (Steppingstones.org) Bill had given up on God after seeing the horrors of war. Sensing the dismay and disgust Bill was feeling for anything religious, Ebby suggested to Bill that he come up with a God of his own understanding (Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 12). This idea would stick with Bill and become the foundation of Step II of the Twelve Steps. This moment became so pivotal in the formation of AA that historians have nicknamed it the GOMU moment, “God Of My Understanding.”
The second transformational moment occurred on December 11, 1934, when Bill enters Towns Hospital in NYC, for his third treatment of alcoholism (Steppingstones.org). This time he will have a spiritual experience so profound that the obsession and craving for alcohol is lifted from him. In Bill’s own words he said of the experience “I knew I was a free man.” Bill will leave the hospital never to drink again.
The third transformational moment occurred in the spring of 1935. Sober for six months, Bill came home one afternoon utterly dejected. His wife Lois could see that Bill was feeling down and asked him what was the matter?
Bill responded, “I’ve worked with drunks for the last six months and not a one of them is sober.”
Lois looked him in the eye and responded “Yes, but you are.”
It was then that Bill realized that he had stumbled upon a formula for staying sober. In that moment he understood that intensive work with other alcoholics would keep him sober and in fact it worked when all else failed (Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 89). This idea would be pivotal when a few weeks later Bill would find himself thinking about drinking after a business deal in Akron, Ohio, had gone awry. Bill would think to himself, “You need another alcoholic to talk to. You need another alcoholic just as much as he needs you!” (Questions and Answers on Sponsorship, pg. 7). This realization would lead to his meeting with Dr. Bob Smith and the birth of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Transformational Moments in My Own Recovery
When I think about my own recovery, I am reminded of three distinct transformational moments. The first came while I was attending a Roundup of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was single at that time, and I was bragging to a friend about how many partners I had. My friend looked me in the eye and simply said, “That’s not living the principles of the program.”
I knew my friend was right and I immediately felt ashamed. Upon reflection, I could see the harm I was doing to myself and others. I wasn’t being rigorously honest and once more I was leading a life of self-will and selfishness. I started to make some changes.
A few years after the above incident I was talking with my sister who is also in recovery. She asked what my home group was and how many guys I was sponsoring. I responded with, “I’m not sponsoring anyone, and I don’t really have a home group. I just hit a meeting when I feel like I need one.”
Her demeanor changed and she said in a very slow and deliberate voice, “You selfish jerk. You have an obligation to give back freely that which was given to you.”
If she had hit me with a two-by-four, I don’t think she could have hurt me more. There was no argument I could offer in my defense. She was right. I was wrong. I needed to make some more changes in my program, my attitude and my behavior.
Today I sponsor six men, and I have a sponsor. I also have a home group. I go to two meetings a week. One meeting is to feed and the other meeting is to seed.
The third transformational moment in my recovery came when I was complaining about my home group to my sponsor. I was going on and on about how they didn’t do this, and I didn’t like that and finally he cut me off and said, “JD, when are you going to stop going to meetings for yourself and start going for other people?”
Once again, I was hit with the proverbial two-by-four upside the head. My sponsor was dead on, and I was off track. I had been going to AA meetings thinking about me and my needs and not thinking about what I could give back or add to the meeting.
Today, I go to meetings with the thought that I am going to give back something to the program that saved my life. I can do this by making coffee, or cleaning up, or speaking to a newcomer. If I go with this thought and I follow through on my intentions, I never have to attend another meeting that I don’t like. I can always leave the meeting with having contributed something and that makes me feel good. I now ask myself what I can do for others in recovery rather than asking what others can do for me.
