I have been given the opportunity to be a part of a group participating in what has been named, “The 90 Days Retreat.” It is an online group designed to cover several modules in the areas of self-growth. The first module being all about self-worth. Cue the heavy hitter right off the bat. Self-worth has been something I have struggled with most of my life, like many others out there. I find myself dealing with this idea of self-worth on a regular basis, from the way that I talk to myself and the language I use when I make a mistake let’s say, to the way that I question whether or not I should take a risk on myself and try something new, even as far as to questioning if I truly deserve happiness. This idea of self-worth ties into some similar feelings about shame that many of us in recovery grapple with throughout our journey. 

“What a task, I can’t go through with it,” said many a newcomer in recovery.  Expectation mitigation is important during early recovery. It’s important to remember that we “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We apply ourselves every day and we reapply after temporary setbacks. We strive for progress rather than perfection.  

There are several myths that circulate in recovery meetings about our common recovery program.  This article attempts to dispel some of those.    

“Surrender, Surrender, but don’t give yourself away, hey, hey”

When I was introduced to recovery and the 12 steps, I only knew that surrender was the name of my favorite Cheap Trick song. I had been hustling and grinding through life for forty years with no clue how to admit that I was struggling or how to ask for help. There was no way I would willingly surrender to anything, or so I thought.

In my volunteer work with a local service entity, I occasionally will have a volunteer come to me in frustration over working with a treatment center, outpatient clinic, detox or the like.  The conversation goes something like this, “They’ve asked for speakers, but I can never get them to return my calls or emails to coordinate.”

There was a group I attended occasionally whenever I felt like I needed an extra meeting.  I joked that the only membership requirement for this group was that you had to have a desire to stop drinking and twenty years of sobriety.  They had about twenty regular members and if you added up the collective sobriety dates of the attendees, they would have had over 400 years of sobriety.  The room was full of old timers, but seldom attracted newcomers.  

In the corporate world there is a phrase that is often used when it comes to bringing “bad news” to management.  It is called, “Speaking Truth to Power.” It is a behavior that is expected of all corporate officers. It is the idea that management and senior executives can sometimes be oblivious, for a variety of reasons, to problems within the organization. Thus, it is the moral and ethical obligation of the juniors, subordinates, and peers of the organization to speak up and say something if they believe there is a serious problem within the organization. It is a sound philosophy and one that is grounded in the principle of acting for and on behalf of the greater good. This philosophy and behavior is also a sound principle of recovery.  

“You have to get involved in service. You have to get involved in service. You have to get involved with service.” The phrase seemed to echo off the walls of our meeting room.  Well intentioned recovery members repeated the phrase incessantly to me in my early sobriety.  And much to their credit I did get involved and I did stay sober.  Afterall, they told me, “nothing will so much ensure our immunity from the first drink as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all else fails.”  

“If only you believed in miracles” – Marty Balin 

 

Recently I was discussing the topic of miracles with some friends. We read pages 188-189 in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). The section described AA number three and how he came into the fellowship. The topic and story resonated with all of us. It truly is a miraculous story.

When we are discussing addiction, we often come across the term alcoholism addiction. And it's important. It is a common issue in the recovery journey from alcohol addiction and can hinder progress towards sobriety.