---
title: A Part Of
description: The people I saw laughing were “connected,” and had some experience with the spirituality I’d been seeking for so long.
image: https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/pexels-photo-26135.jpg
---

[![The retreat](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/file-2373138307-png/TheRetreat-Jan2015_Theme/img/logo.png?width=271&name=logo.png "The retreat")](https://www.theretreat.org/)

 ON-LINE

[Meeting Resources](https://www.myrecovery.org/online-meetings/)

EMAIL US

[info@theretreat.org](mailto:info@theretreat.org)

CALL US

[866-928-3434](tel:8669283434)

[![ The Retreat ](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/file-2373138307-png/TheRetreat-Jan2015_Theme/img/logo.png.png?width=460&name=logo.png.png " The Retreat ")](https://www.theretreat.org/)

- [About](http://www.theretreat.org/about) 
    - [History](http://www.theretreat.org/about/history)
    - [Staff](http://www.theretreat.org/staff-and-leadership-team)
    - [Board of Directors](http://www.theretreat.org/about/board-of-directors)
    - [FAQs](http://www.theretreat.org/about/faqs)
    - [Testimonials](http://www.theretreat.org/about/testimonials)
    - [Careers](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/2025-Documents/Kitchen-Now-Hiring.png)
- [Programs](http://www.theretreat.org/programs) 
    - [Men’s Residential](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/mens-residential-program)
    - [Women’s Residential](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/womens-residential-program)
    - [Virtual Recovery Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/virtual-recovery-programs)
    - [Evening Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/evening-programs)
    - [55Plus Hybrid Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/55plus-program)
    - [Relapse Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/relapse-programs)
    - [Renewal Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/renewal-program)
    - [Family Program](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/family-program)
    - [Sober Housing](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/the-retreat-residences)
    - [Service Payments](http://www.theretreat.org/service-payments)
- [Retreats & Workshops](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/weekend-retreats) 
    - [Retreats, Classes & Workshops](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/weekend-retreats/sponsored-by-the-retreat)
    - [Reserve McIver Center](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/weekend-retreats/private-group-retreats)
    - [Food Addiction Retreat (COR)](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/weekend-retreats/cor-retreats)
    - [Love First Training Institute](http://www.theretreat.org/programs/weekend-retreats/sponsored-by-the-retreat/love-first)
- [Donate](http://www.theretreat.org/donate) 
    - [Make a Gift](https://info.theretreat.org/donate-giving-form)
    - [Scholarship Support](https://info.theretreat.org/donate-support-scholarship)
    - [Donor Recognition & Tribute Opportunities](http://www.theretreat.org/our-next-step-naming-and-recognition)
- [Alumni & Friends](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends) 
    - [Calendar](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/calendar)
    - [Recovery Community Activities](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/recovery-community-activities)
    - [Alumni Association Events](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/alumni-association-events)
    - [Breakfast Club](http://www.theretreat.org/breakfast-club)
    - [Event Gallery](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/alumni-event-gallery)
    - [Kenny’s Recipes](http://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/kennys-recipes)
    - [Golf Extravaganza 2026](http://www.theretreat.org/golf-extravaganza)
- [Women in Recovery](http://www.theretreat.org/women-in-recovery)
- [Research](http://www.theretreat.org/research) 
    - [Abstinence-Based Recovery](http://www.theretreat.org/research-on-12-step-abstinence-based-recovery)
    - [Outcome Studies](http://www.theretreat.org/the-retreat-outcome-studies)
    - [Outcomes](http://www.theretreat.org/research/outcomes)
    - [Research On 12-Steps](http://www.theretreat.org/research-on-12-step-abstinence-based-recovery)
- [Spiritual Direction](http://www.theretreat.org/spiritual-direction)
- Media 
    - [Blog](https://blog.theretreat.org)
    - [Podcast](http://www.theretreat.org/media/podcast)
    - [Newsroom](http://www.theretreat.org/media/in-the-news)
    - [Videos](http://www.theretreat.org/media/video-resources)
- [Contact](https://info.theretreat.org/contact-us)

[NEED HELP NOW?](https://info.theretreat.org/contact-us)

![RetreatBlogBannerImage.jpg](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/images/Retreat_Blog_Banner_Image_Final.jpg?width=5688&name=Retreat_Blog_Banner_Image_Final.jpg "RetreatBlogBannerImage.jpg")

# [A Part Of](https://blog.theretreat.org/a-part-of-0)

 \[fa icon="calendar"\] Mar 21, 2018 10:30:00 AM / by [Jake Lewis](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-lewis)

![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/images/Jake_Lewis.png?width=35&name=Jake_Lewis.png)

- [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share)

 \[fa icon="envelope"\][Share!](mailto:?to=&body=https://blog.theretreat.org/a-part-of-0&subject=Retreat%20Blog%20Post)

![pexels-photo-26135.jpg](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/images/pexels-photo-26135.jpg?width=600&name=pexels-photo-26135.jpg "pexels-photo-26135.jpg")

Growing up, I wanted people to like me. **I considered it a personal challenge to win people over**. And I wanted to feel connected to those people. I was intrigued by spirituality, and how it might make me feel connected, so I would “meditate.”  But really I was just getting high, contemplating not my place in the vast continuum, but rather how a fish might have a swordfight with a bee.

Never did I take time to look inward, to connect with myself, **to explore what was within**. That, my friends, was too scary and too much work. I was zipping by in life thinking I was a “part of,” but really I was isolated. I was numbing myself and pushing myself further and further away from any sort of real connection.

Before I got recovered I was living in an apartment in St. Paul and worked the opening shift at a coffee shop on Grand Ave. I would ride my bike to work at 4:30 every morning, completely hung over. There, I would drink copious amounts of coffee, get completely revved up, then furiously attempt to do as little work as possible. I drank so much coffee for two reasons: first, and most obviously, to wake up and kick the hangover. Second, as an easy excuse for my shaking hands. Those days, I could barely set a cup down for a customer without splashing it on to the counter. I would just smile and tell people that I should cut back on my coffee.

Yeah, that’s it, cut back on *coffee*……

My shift would end at 11am, then head to one of three liquor stores in my “rotation.” I couldn’t go to the same liquor store every day otherwise people may have thought I had a problem.  At the corner of Hamline and Summit Ave., there is a big old house with a big old porch on it. I would bike by that house almost every day and would see people outside smoking and laughing. Like a good alcoholic I assumed there was a party going on. I could imagine the kegs inside, the shots being poured, and the game of flippie cup that was most certainly happening on the second floor. The people on the porch looked happy, looked care-free and looked *connected*. I was jealous.

Fast-forward a few years and a few 30-day “vacations.” I moved back to St. Paul with some sobriety and a new perspective on life. The first day in my new sober house, my roommates and I went to a meeting. When we arrived at the big old [AA](https://www.theretreat.org/alumni-friends/calendar) clubhouse, I was shocked. The house I used to bike by daily wasn’t some frat or party house. It was the Uptown House, hosting AA meetings since 1975.

Little did I know that several years ago, while biking by the house drunk or hungover **I was witnessing the promises of this program coming true**.  The people I saw laughing were “connected,” and had some experience with the spirituality I’d been seeking for so long.

It is clear to me now that this program is based on attraction, rather than promotion. Because of my higher power and this program, I am so grateful to finally be a “part of”.

 

### Interested in Learning More About the Retreat? Download our Free Brochure!

[![New Call-to-action](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/478538/4e113ec6-e0e2-4143-bd54-f88cc856b2b2.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/478538/4e113ec6-e0e2-4143-bd54-f88cc856b2b2)

 Topics: [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [Sober Housing](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/sober-housing), [Men's Sober Residential](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/mens-sober-residential), [Women's Sober Residential](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/womens-sober-residential), [Support Group](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/support-group)

![Jake Lewis](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/images/Jake_Lewis.png?width=100&height=100&name=Jake_Lewis.png)

#### Written by [Jake Lewis](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-lewis)

Marketing Coordinator at The Retreat

### Subscribe to Email Updates

[![New call-to-action](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/478538/839b1295-222c-440a-a31f-5be26d9a5570.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/478538/839b1295-222c-440a-a31f-5be26d9a5570)

- Recent
- Popular
- Categories

### Lists by Topic

- [Alcoholics Anonymous (181)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous)
- [Recovery Program (138)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)
- [AA meetings (102)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings)
- [alcoholism (86)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholism)
- [12 steps of aa (85)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa)
- [AA Big Book (85)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book)
- [Recovery (77)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery)
- [Drugs Adiction (51)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction)
- [family recovery (49)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-recovery)
- [Family Sober Support (48)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-sober-support)
- [Chemical Dependency (41)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/chemical-dependency)
- [Drug Rehab (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab)
- [recovery process (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-process)
- [12 Traditions Of AA (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-traditions-of-aa)
- [12 step program (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-step-program)
- [Sober Housing (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/sober-housing)
- [Support Group (33)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/support-group)
- [12 Steps (26)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps)
- [Women's Sober Residential (25)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/womens-sober-residential)
- [alcohol addiction (25)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-addiction)
- [Alcoholism Treatment Program (22)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholism-treatment-program)
- [alcohol abuse (22)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-abuse)
- [Alcohol & Health (20)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-health)
- [substance abuse (19)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/substance-abuse)
- [Men's Sober Residential (18)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/mens-sober-residential)
- [Older Adult Recovery Programs (14)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/older-adult-recovery-programs)
- [help group (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/help-group)
- [women in recovery (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/women-in-recovery)
- [Treatment Program (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/treatment-program)
- [Drug Addiction (9)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-addiction)
- [celebration (5)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/celebration)
- [COVID-19 (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/covid-19)
- [Gratitude (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/gratitude)
- [families (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/families)
- [Volunteering (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/volunteering)
- [higher power (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/higher-power)
- [Cinderella Syndrome (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/cinderella-syndrome)
- [birthday (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/birthday)
- [podcast (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/podcast)

see all

### Posts by Topic

- [Alcoholics Anonymous (181)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous)
- [Recovery Program (138)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)
- [AA meetings (102)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings)
- [alcoholism (86)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholism)
- [12 steps of aa (85)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa)
- [AA Big Book (85)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book)
- [Recovery (77)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery)
- [Drugs Adiction (51)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction)
- [family recovery (49)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-recovery)
- [Family Sober Support (48)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-sober-support)
- [Chemical Dependency (41)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/chemical-dependency)
- [Drug Rehab (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab)
- [recovery process (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-process)
- [12 Traditions Of AA (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-traditions-of-aa)
- [12 step program (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-step-program)
- [Sober Housing (34)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/sober-housing)
- [Support Group (33)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/support-group)
- [12 Steps (26)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps)
- [Women's Sober Residential (25)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/womens-sober-residential)
- [alcohol addiction (25)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-addiction)
- [Alcoholism Treatment Program (22)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholism-treatment-program)
- [alcohol abuse (22)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-abuse)
- [Alcohol & Health (20)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-health)
- [substance abuse (19)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/substance-abuse)
- [Men's Sober Residential (18)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/mens-sober-residential)
- [Older Adult Recovery Programs (14)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/older-adult-recovery-programs)
- [help group (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/help-group)
- [women in recovery (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/women-in-recovery)
- [Treatment Program (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/treatment-program)
- [Drug Addiction (9)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-addiction)
- [celebration (5)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/celebration)
- [COVID-19 (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/covid-19)
- [Gratitude (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/gratitude)
- [families (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/families)
- [Volunteering (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/volunteering)
- [higher power (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/higher-power)
- [Cinderella Syndrome (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/cinderella-syndrome)
- [birthday (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/birthday)
- [podcast (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/podcast)

see all

### Posts by Authors

- [Maj Donovan (95)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/maj-donovan)
- [John MacDougall (72)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-macdougall)
- [Staff Blog (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/staff-blog)
- [Sherry Gaugler-Stewart (27)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/sherry-gaugler-stewart)
- [Dick Rice (12)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/dick-rice)
- [Kara F (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/kara-f)
- [John Curtiss (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-curtiss)
- [Mark Korman (6)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/mark-korman)
- [DeAnna L. (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/deanna)
- [Dede Armstrong (3)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/dede-armstrong)
- [Jake Lewis (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-lewis)
- [Chris Nehotte (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/chris-nehotte)
- [Alex Curtiss, M.A. (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/alex-curtiss)
- [Jenna L. (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jenna-l)
- [Pam Broz (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/pam-broz)
- [Nancy Kaley (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/nancy-kaley)
- [Ellie Hyatt (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/ellie-hyatt)
- [Rich Murphy (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/rich-murphy)
- [Phil F. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/philip-farzanegan)
- [Lisa D. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/lisa-d)
- [Stephen Crane (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/stephen-crane)
- [Paddy O (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/paddy-o)
- [Connie Lawrence (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/connie-lawrence)
- [Bob Bernu (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/bob-bernu)
- [Lisa Speedling (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/lisa-speedling)
- [Kevin J (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/kevin-j)
- [Jake L (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-l)
- [Women in Recovery (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/women-in-recovery)
- [Judge Shaun Floerke (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/judge-shaun-floerke)
- [Peter H (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/peter-h)
- [Deb Wuebker (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/deb-wuebker)
- [Jay R. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jay-r)
- [Cecil B (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/cecil-b)
- [Lisa G. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/lisa-g)

see all

### Recent Posts

### OUR MISSION

Our mission is to improve the quality of life for individuals, families and communities affected by alcohol and drug dependency by providing affordable, effective educational services grounded in the Twelve Step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[Learn More →](https://www.theretreat.org/about)

 

*\*The Retreat is a supportive, educational recovery program and is not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical, or clinical treatment.*

### CONTACT US

Phone: 866-928-3434  
Phone: 952-476-0566  
Fax: 952-404-7208

Email: [info@theretreat.org](mailto:info@theretreat.org)

Address:  [1221 Wayzata Blvd E, Wayzata MN 55391](https://www.google.com/maps/place/1221+Wayzata+Blvd+E,+Wayzata,+MN+55391/@44.972252,-93.4978219,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x52b34b6393eefe71:0xa29dd4f038137ea6)

 

**[Our Blog](https://blog.theretreat.org)**  |  [Online Meeting Resources](https://myrecovery.org/online-meetings/) 

 

<https://www.facebook.com/theRetreatonline> <https://twitter.com/the_retreat> <https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-retreat---wayzata-minnesota/> <https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-y2eCNjhvtQs7rN22l92kg> <https://www.instagram.com/theretreatmn/>

----------------------------  
"[The Retreat Daily](https://paper.li/e-1496866645)" Daily posts on recovery, sobriety, mental health, and everything in-between.

### NEED HELP NOW?

© 2025 The Retreat. All Rights Reserved. | [Privacy Policy](https://www.theretreat.org/privacy-policy)

Powered By [BSPKN](https://www.bspkn.co/)

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "BlogPosting",
  "author" : {
    "@type" : "Person",
    "name" : "Jake Lewis",
    "url" : "https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-lewis"
  },
  "dateModified" : "2020-08-15T05:14:59.352Z",
  "datePublished" : "2018-03-21T15:30:00.000Z",
  "headline" : "A Part Of",
  "image" : [ "https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/pexels-photo-26135.jpg" ],
  "mainEntityOfPage" : {
    "@id" : "https://blog.theretreat.org/a-part-of-0",
    "@type" : "WebPage"
  },
  "publisher" : {
    "@type" : "Organization",
    "logo" : {
      "@type" : "ImageObject",
      "url" : "https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/file-2373138307-png/TheRetreat-Jan2015_Theme/img/logo.png"
    },
    "name" : "The Retreat"
  }
}
```