“What a task, I can’t go through with it,” said many a newcomer in recovery. Expectation mitigation is important during early recovery. It’s important to remember that we “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We apply ourselves every day and we reapply after temporary setbacks. We strive for progress rather than perfection.
One of the struggles a newcomer will experience in early recovery is facing their perfectionism. They have unrealistic ideas of how recovery is done. “I’m going to write a hundred pages for my fourth step,” says the eager newcomer. Then the reality of that statement sets in, and the lofty goal turns into procrastination. After procrastinating on the fourth step for days and weeks, procrastination turns into paralysis and the newcomer seems incapable of putting pen to paper.
This newcomer is dealing with the 3 Ps of Paralysis. That is, because I’m a perfectionist and I know deep inside that I won’t be able to obtain my lofty, unrealistic goals, I start to procrastinate. After procrastinating for a few weeks or months, anxiety and guilt well up inside me making it nearly impossible to start my inventory. Now I’m paralyzed. Thus, perfectionism + procrastination = paralysis.
The antidote to this dilemma is to “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We start small and build on success. We set attainable and realistic goals. This aids us in meeting and obtaining our recovery objectives. It is better to have ten pages of an inventory that are good rather than 100 pages that are perfectly absent.
The antidote to this dilemma is to “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We start small and build on success. We set attainable and realistic goals. This aids us in meeting and obtaining our recovery objectives. It is better to have ten pages of an inventory that are good rather than 100 pages that are perfectly absent.
“Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling and powerful.” Alcohol is a subtle and patient foe. It is seemingly hard-wired into our neuro-pathways. The disease wraps itself around our brain like a constricting Burmese Python. This constricting of rational thought seems to exacerbate character defects like perfectionism and procrastination.
That’s why it is so important to do RPMS - Reading, Prayers, Meetings, Sponsor. Daily application of these activities will start to unwind the python wrapped around the cerebral cortex. Slowly but surely the disease will lessen its grip until the thought of a drink is as unnatural as a hand to the flame. Our rational thought will return, and self-sabotaging is reduced or eliminated.
Moreover, while doing our RPMS on a daily basis, we will build recovery capital and recovery resiliency. Thus, by “eating the elephant one bite at a time”, and setting realistic goals, we can reduce our perfectionism and procrastination. Then tackling our fourth and fifth steps won’t seem nearly so daunting and intimidating. Finally, we pray like everything depends on God and work recovery like everything depends on us.
