“What a task, I can’t go through with it,” said many a newcomer in recovery.  Expectation mitigation is important during early recovery. It’s important to remember that we “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” We apply ourselves every day and we reapply after temporary setbacks. We strive for progress rather than perfection.  

 

There are several myths that circulate in recovery meetings about our common recovery program.  This article attempts to dispel some of those.    

“Surrender, Surrender, but don’t give yourself away, hey, hey”

When I was introduced to recovery and the 12 steps, I only knew that surrender was the name of my favorite Cheap Trick song. I had been hustling and grinding through life for forty years with no clue how to admit that I was struggling or how to ask for help. There was no way I would willingly surrender to anything, or so I thought.

In my volunteer work with a local service entity, I occasionally will have a volunteer come to me in frustration over working with a treatment center, outpatient clinic, detox or the like.  The conversation goes something like this, “They’ve asked for speakers, but I can never get them to return my calls or emails to coordinate.”

There was a group I attended occasionally whenever I felt like I needed an extra meeting.  I joked that the only membership requirement for this group was that you had to have a desire to stop drinking and twenty years of sobriety.  They had about twenty regular members and if you added up the collective sobriety dates of the attendees, they would have had over 400 years of sobriety.  The room was full of old timers, but seldom attracted newcomers.  

In the corporate world there is a phrase that is often used when it comes to bringing “bad news” to management.  It is called, “Speaking Truth to Power.” It is a behavior that is expected of all corporate officers. It is the idea that management and senior executives can sometimes be oblivious, for a variety of reasons, to problems within the organization. Thus, it is the moral and ethical obligation of the juniors, subordinates, and peers of the organization to speak up and say something if they believe there is a serious problem within the organization. It is a sound philosophy and one that is grounded in the principle of acting for and on behalf of the greater good. This philosophy and behavior is also a sound principle of recovery.  

“You have to get involved in service. You have to get involved in service. You have to get involved with service.” The phrase seemed to echo off the walls of our meeting room.  Well intentioned recovery members repeated the phrase incessantly to me in my early sobriety.  And much to their credit I did get involved and I did stay sober.  Afterall, they told me, “nothing will so much ensure our immunity from the first drink as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all else fails.”  

When I was growing up, I learned about Chicken Little who ran around telling everyone that the “Sky is Falling!”  The point of the story was to teach young children not to put too much stock in absurd beliefs*. I was reminded of this story when I read all the social media chatter about the new Plain Language Big Book that has been approved for publishing by AA World Services.  

 

1. INTENTION: Begin each day with humility. Reach out and connect with something greater than you, in whatever way resonates for you. Help me. Show me. Guide me. Take away my difficulties. Heal and care for me. Lead me with Love. Breathe in, breathe out. Ask your Higher Power to assist you with navigating this day as it unfolds.