In the spring of 1989, I finally figured out that I was an alcoholic. I had taught Addiction Studies in a Graduate School for four years without ever figuring out that I was an alcoholic. I even told the old joke that an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than his doctor, not realizing that I thought that an alcoholic was someone who drinks more than an associate professor.  It was only years later, when I decided to go to Hazelden as a student in their chemical dependency counselor program that I read the textbook, the DSM-III-R,  and applied it to myself that I figured it out. I carefully detoxed myself over a six week period and joined the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did so with a sense of grim resignation.

Easter time –the great awakening for Christians –seems like a good time to reflect on the phrase “spiritual awakening” of the 12^th step.  Christians believe that Easter is the answer to the questions:  Is this life all that there is?  Is death the end of life?  For Christians, the resurrection of Jesus is the statement that there is a fullness of life waiting for us beyond death.

I recently had the opportunity to present on Step Six in my home group and I was blessed with a way of presenting Defects of Character that were true to both our tradition and to my personal spirituality at this time.

We alcoholics tend to look down on New Year's Eve as “amateur night.” We often stay off the highways, believing them to be filled with dangerous, untrained, drinkers who have no tolerance for alcohol. We like to believe that when we drank and drove, we did it well. There is a little bit of truth in this, because we did develop a tolerance for alcohol, but mostly it is what the Big Book calls “gutter bravado.” Our tolerance just allowed us to drink more, and we were just as foolish as anyone else.

Tony DeMello, a great spiritual teacher, used to say that in the spiritual life only three things are necessary:  “Awareness, awareness, awareness.”

He might as well have said that all we have to do to live spiritually is, “Wake up, wake up, wake up.”

"I've got to stop auctioning myself off to the low bidder."

Back in the early 1970’s, I had the opportunity to be summer pastor at a small church in Struble, Iowa, just north of LeMars.  There was little to no night life and I quickly became the gathering place for the adolescents of the town.  Night after night, as July gave way to August, they would appear, telling their tales of “walking the beans” or “walking the corn” that day.   As a city boy, I had no idea what they were talking about until they actually took me out to a field and invited me to “walk the beans’ with them.  I was amazed at the number and variety of weeds that were growing up with the crops.   I was also surprised at how quickly the work became tedious and taxing, necessary as it was.  

The 12 step program is a framework for confronting problems that involve addiction, alcoholism, and pressure. Sometimes referred to as spiritual methods, the Alcoholics Anonymous(AA) program was originally started due to a text that was published in 1939. The text, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism, created the foundation that paved the way for the 12 step program of AA. Today this method is regarded as the most successful practice of abstinence. 

I agree with the words attributed to Fred Holmquist of Hazelden that the first nine steps “will get us well but not keep us well,” that step 10 is the step that not only maintains our sobriety but begins our awakening.  Early in its treatment of this step, the Big Book contains the remarkable sentence:  “We have entered the world of the Spirit (page 84).” 

But how do we stay in the world of the Spirit?  The Big Book again is quite clear:          

“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent

on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.  Every

day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s

will into all of our activities. (page 85).”

And how do we maintain “spiritual condition?”  I find that if I am faithful to five practices in the course of a week, I have a 95% possibility of recovery and of being awake.  Those practices are a 10^th step throughout the day and especially at night; an 11^th step spiritual practice, especially every morning; an honest conversation with my sponsor, at least once a week; participation in my home group, again weekly; and availability for service, daily.  That has been my experience of myself and others.  And your experience?