The expectation of the holiday season can be stressful for everyone. For reasons that might be obvious, that stress seems to be even greater in families dealing with recovery from a drug or alcohol addiction. 

There is a simple practice that can reduce that stress and offer us the opportunity for a meaningful holiday experience; that is a mindfulness practice. It allows us to stop our racing thoughts, which are usually produced by some form of fear. It allows us to make choices that support our well-being. It allows us to be present.

The state of West Virginia has recently been noticed for a considerable increase in the amount of heroin overdoses. The state is facing a five fold increase since 2010. President Barak Obama  is spearheading a solution to this problem to promote change and drug addiction prevention because the state is lacking in resources to publicly address this concern of rising rates. Although, the cause of these overdose rates are ambiguous, the signs point to the states poverty levels, unemployment rates, as well as individuals who families used drugs.

Back in the early 1970’s, I had the opportunity to be summer pastor at a small church in Struble, Iowa, just north of LeMars.  There was little to no night life and I quickly became the gathering place for the adolescents of the town.  Night after night, as July gave way to August, they would appear, telling their tales of “walking the beans” or “walking the corn” that day.   As a city boy, I had no idea what they were talking about until they actually took me out to a field and invited me to “walk the beans’ with them.  I was amazed at the number and variety of weeds that were growing up with the crops.   I was also surprised at how quickly the work became tedious and taxing, necessary as it was.  

The 12 step program is a framework for confronting problems that involve addiction, alcoholism, and pressure. Sometimes referred to as spiritual methods, the Alcoholics Anonymous(AA) program was originally started due to a text that was published in 1939. The text, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism, created the foundation that paved the way for the 12 step program of AA. Today this method is regarded as the most successful practice of abstinence. 

There has been an important change in the way that many people define relapse and recovery. Twenty years ago, when I started working in treatment, relapse was a sign of failure, a failure with a shared responsibility. It was the alcoholic’s responsibility, in that they had picked up another drink, but it was also a time for the staff to question, “What did we miss? Is there anything we could have done, or done better that could have helped this alcoholic avoid relapse?”

One of the great challenges for those still struggling with alcohol and drug dependency - and even for those in long-term recovery - is surrendering to a power greater than ourselves. Giving up the internal battle to control our own lives and letting someone else guide us to a path of sobriety can often feel like the hardest thing we have ever done. Until we do completely surrender, however, we will never fully know the joys that a sober life can bring. The process of surrendering our lives to a power greater than ourselves must first begin with the realization that alone, left to our own devises, we cannot solve this problem. For most of us this was a painful, lonely and at times embarrassing process to reach a point in our lives where we are truly humble and teachable. Our self-centered out of control ways drove us to a point of utter despair.

Yet, for the fortunate of us, this it what was required to reach a point of absolute surrender. We had exhausted all of our will to beat this disease and reclaim our lives. Throwing our hands up in defeat we were finally given the gift of receptivity. We are now ready and available to receive the guidance and support that will lead us to a happy, sober and meaningful life. Whether it be with an AA sponsor, professionals in the recovery field, a spiritual guide or fellow members in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) we find that we are no longer alone and that there are many, who have come before us, that can show us the way.

At the age of 23, after a nine-year battle with alcoholism and drug addiction that nearly killed me, two old-timers in AA plucked me out of my misery and put me on a one-way airline flight from Cincinnati Ohio to Minnesota. I knew when I got on that plane that there was no going back. I had burned all of my bridges. All of MY efforts to change my life resulted in more pain, more loss, more trouble. I was utterly powerless to stop drinking and using on my own and my life was a mess. I was terrified of what may lie ahead, but I was completely willing to let someone else direct the next steps of my life. I adopted a posture of a student, looking at everyone who came into my life as teachers who could show me a better way to live my life.

This willingness to go to any lengths led me to two months in treatment, eight months in a halfway house and a year and a half living in a sober house, surrounded by a community of fellow travelers who taught me how to live the spiritual program embodied in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in my day-to-day life. I was introduced to a “Program of Living”, a community of support and a spiritual connection that for the past thirty-nine years, one day at a time, has given me an opportunity to live a whole, meaningful and productive sober life. And all I have to do to keep it is stay sober, live the Twelve Steps in my day-to-day life, stay grateful and teachable and help others.

Everybody wants a good life. Who doesn’t want health, happiness, connection and fun? Walking straight at that seems reasonable enough. And too, none of us are surprised when ambivalence dogs our progress. Positive change is still change. We don’t know how, don’t think we have the resources or are too distracted to keep moving in that general direction.