At a conference on recovery not long ago in Chicago, I listened to the speaker talk about making amends. The crux of her point was that the amend had to be equal to or greater than the offense. For example, you can’t falsely print on the front page of a newspaper that someone is a cheat and a liar and then print the retraction on page 17. No, if you’re going to set the scales of restorative justice evenly, the retraction has to go on page one.
When I first came into the Al-Anon program, I had spent so much time and energy into isolating, stuffing my feelings and trying to fix and control people, places and things, that I had no idea who I was, what I liked or disliked or even what I what felt. When they told me that I needed to keep the focus on myself and not the alcoholic, I didn’t know what that meant. I wasn’t capable of an intimate relationship with anyone else because I didn’t have an intimate relationship with myself.
During my four decades of recovery, I’ve worked with hundreds of young men who are enthusiastic and excited about recovery. For them, everything is new and life has taken on a different meaning. They are going to meetings regularly; they are working with their sponsors and the wreckage from their past is slowly getting repaired. But alas, they seem to hit three common roadblocks which sends them spiraling back down the path whence they came. I refer to these three roadblocks as: The Loot, The Lift and The Lover.
Tis the season to be jolly”, as the age-old song reminds us. In that vein, here are some stories to lift your spirits - Happy Holidays!
Q: How do you define recovery?
A: I consider myself a person in long-term recovery. To me, that means that I haven't had a drink or drug in over 42 years.
National reports estimate over 25 million Americans have a substance use disorder. This includes illicit drugs, prescription medications, and alcohol. In fact, when it comes to alcohol it is estimated that one in eight American adults have an alcohol problem.
Here we are… months after the world became an unknown place, and many of our creature comforts, things we took for granted, turned into vast luxuries. I dream longingly of a haircut or sitting in a café with a dear friend over a steaming cup of bad coffee…or, hardest of all, receiving a hug at an AA meeting. I am getting accustomed to my new masked reality, the shouting at friends from a distance when I have the rare pleasure of seeing them. And, somehow, it is all ok. Really ok. And that is because I watch my mouth.
Thanksgiving weekend 2019 brought 17 inches of heavy wet snow to northwestern Wisconsin, a special place where our family cabin sits, on the Minerva chain of lakes. As I looked out into the yard this past Sunday morning, I was startled by the sight of our many pine trees – white, blue spruce, and jack pine, all sagging towards earth with heavily burdened branches carrying the weight of nature’s winter storm. Concerned these trees might topple or at least suffer the damage of broken branches, I donned Sorel boots, jacket, hat and gloves and set out intent to remove some of the 17 inches of ice crystals these trees of ours were carrying.
While we are all hunkered down and sheltering in place, we thought some good old fashion humor might lift your spirits. Here are some humorous thoughts from one of our blog contributors – Maj. Donovan, U.S. Army, Ret.
