---
title: Blog | Recovery Program (10)
description: Recovery Program | The Next Step | Weekly Wisdom on Addiction, Recovery, Families, and Everything In-Between (10)
---

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[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/Trusting_Someone.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/think-before-you-speak)

## [THINK Before You Speak!](https://blog.theretreat.org/think-before-you-speak)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Jun 21, 2017 9:00:00 AM / by [Sherry Gaugler-Stewart](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/sherry-gaugler-stewart) posted in [family recovery](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-recovery), [alcoholism](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholism), [Family Sober Support](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-sober-support), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Drugs Adiction](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction)

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When I started attending recovery meetings for family members affected by someone else’s addiction, something became clear to me pretty quickly: **I had no idea how to communicate in a healthy manner.**

The communication that had taken place in my marriage when alcoholism was present ran through three phases.  Phase 1 was to talk to him about his drinking and use whenever I could, and however I could, in the hope of making him stop.  Phase 2 was not talking about his drinking and use ***at all***, with the hope that if I ignored it would go away.  Phase 3 was letting the frustration of this situation take over, and not talking about ***anything*** – otherwise known as the silent treatment. Of course, staring at someone else and thinking at them until they figure out what’s wrong is not the most effective communication tool…

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/think-before-you-speak)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/friends.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/seven-steps-to-conflict-resolution)

## [Seven Steps to Conflict Resolution.](https://blog.theretreat.org/seven-steps-to-conflict-resolution)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Jun 14, 2017 9:00:00 AM / by [Maj Donovan](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/maj-donovan) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [substance abuse](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/substance-abuse), [12 steps of aa](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa), [AA Big Book](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)

[\[fa icon="comment"\] 0 Comments](https://blog.theretreat.org/seven-steps-to-conflict-resolution#comments-listing)

**1.**   It takes two to tango. In any situation if I respond with anger, hurt or frustration, the situation can quickly escalate. **If I respond with calm and reassurance the situation can quickly defuse.** If I refuse to do the dance of anger, the dance quickly ends.

 

**2.**   **What other people think of me is none of my business.** I have a sponsor and significant others to whom I turn for advice and suggestions. If I try to live my life to appease and please those around me, I become a people pleaser. And there’s an app for people pleasing – it’s called Al-Anon.

 

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/seven-steps-to-conflict-resolution)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/buying_pills-281735-edited.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/getting-sober-at-17-yrs-old)

## [Getting Sober at 17 yrs old.](https://blog.theretreat.org/getting-sober-at-17-yrs-old)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] May 10, 2017 11:06:29 AM / by [Peter H](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/peter-h) posted in [substance abuse](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/substance-abuse), [Drug Rehab](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Drugs Adiction](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction), [Chemical Dependency](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/chemical-dependency)

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I grew up in Mtn. View, California and at the age of 17, I found myself at a crossroads. Once my addiction had reached the point of requiring professional help, my Mom and I went to see a doctor that specialized in chemical dependency. When the doctor came to greet us, he was not what I expected. He was an older gentleman that appeared as if he only knew medicine rather than being able to possibly comprehend what I was going through. He sat us down and said to my Mom…”You are basically putting Band-Aids on the problem…if your son does not stop what he’s doing…he’s going to die.” I could tell my Mom was fighting back the tears and doing her best to remain strong. The doctor went on to tell us about a treatment center in Minnesota that could help.

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/getting-sober-at-17-yrs-old)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/showing_up.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/are-we-showing-up-for-our-own-recovery)

## [Are We Showing Up For Our Own Recovery?](https://blog.theretreat.org/are-we-showing-up-for-our-own-recovery)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] May 1, 2017 5:00:00 AM / by [John MacDougall](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-macdougall) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [Drug Rehab](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Drugs Adiction](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction), [Chemical Dependency](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/chemical-dependency)

[\[fa icon="comment"\] 3 Comments](https://blog.theretreat.org/are-we-showing-up-for-our-own-recovery#comments-listing)

There is a Woody Allen saying that is often misquoted as “90 percent of life is just showing up.” What he actually said was "Showing up is 80 percent of life**.** Sometimes it’s easier to hide home in bed. I’ve done both.” (New York Times, August 21, 1977). **I find that showing up is terribly important, because for me it has been difficult.** 

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/are-we-showing-up-for-our-own-recovery)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/Book-Glasses.jpeg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/leadership-ldrship-in-recovery)

## [Leadership (LDRSHIP) in Recovery](https://blog.theretreat.org/leadership-ldrship-in-recovery)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Apr 26, 2017 6:04:00 PM / by [Maj Donovan](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/maj-donovan) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [AA Big Book](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book), [12 Traditions Of AA](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-traditions-of-aa), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)

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[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/Family-beach.jpeg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling)

## [When Someone You Love is Struggling.](https://blog.theretreat.org/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Apr 21, 2017 9:00:00 AM / by [Sherry Gaugler-Stewart](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/sherry-gaugler-stewart) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [family recovery](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-recovery), [Drug Rehab](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab), [Family Sober Support](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/family-sober-support), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)

[\[fa icon="comment"\] 0 Comments](https://blog.theretreat.org/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling#comments-listing)

Currently there is a situation in my life that doesn’t have any direct impact on me, and yet it’s been on my mind and on my heart.  Someone I love is struggling.  It’s deep and painful, and it’s difficult to watch.  I’ve often thought that if I had to choose between my own heartbreak, and the heartbreak of someone I love, I would choose my own time and time again.

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/when-someone-you-love-is-struggling)

## [Don't Quit Before the Miracles Happen.](https://blog.theretreat.org/dont-quit-before-the-miracles-happen)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Apr 13, 2017 9:30:00 AM / by [John MacDougall](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-macdougall) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [12 steps of aa](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa), [Drug Rehab](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-rehab), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Drugs Adiction](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction)

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![dawn-nature-sunset-woman.jpg](https://blog.theretreat.org/hs-fs/hubfs/images/dawn-nature-sunset-woman.jpg?width=712&height=475&name=dawn-nature-sunset-woman.jpg)

This weekend, I will be an A.A. Speaker at the “Rogue Roundup” in Grant’s Pass, Oregon. Although I have spoken at a number of A.A. roundups, this will be the first one on the west coast. I’m the last of nine speakers, most from California, and I follow the famous Clancy I. One difference between the Los Angeles speakers and myself is that I don’t have a dramatic drinking story. I drank quietly, and I never got arrested. Because I don’t have a “war story” to present, I’m going with four important things I’ve learned in A.A. so far.

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/dont-quit-before-the-miracles-happen)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/Commnity_Sobriety_Twitter.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/i-tried-to-find-an-easier-softer-way-and-i-did)

## [“I Tried To Find An Easier, Softer, Way...and I Did!”](https://blog.theretreat.org/i-tried-to-find-an-easier-softer-way-and-i-did)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Apr 3, 2017 5:00:00 AM / by [John MacDougall](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-macdougall) posted in [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [12 steps of aa](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-steps-of-aa), [AA Big Book](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-big-book), [12 Traditions Of AA](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/12-traditions-of-aa), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program)

[\[fa icon="comment"\] 1 Comment](https://blog.theretreat.org/i-tried-to-find-an-easier-softer-way-and-i-did#comments-listing)

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[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/Climb-Rock.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/having-the-courage-to-be-weak)

## [Having the Courage to be Weak.](https://blog.theretreat.org/having-the-courage-to-be-weak)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Mar 29, 2017 9:00:00 AM / by [Maj Donovan](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/maj-donovan) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [alcohol abuse](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcohol-abuse), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Chemical Dependency](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/chemical-dependency)

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I deployed to Tallil, Iraq in January of 2007.   When my transport plane landed, I got worried.  Would I hold up under combat conditions?  Would I remember my training or, would I wither in the face of fire?  I deplaned and stood on the tarmac to get my bearings and there a few hundred meters from my location I saw a church steeple.  I thought to myself “*before I do anything else, I’m going to go into that church and just say a quick prayer of gratitude to God for getting me safely to Iraq.*”   

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/having-the-courage-to-be-weak)

[![](https://blog.theretreat.org/hubfs/images/drinking_spirituality.jpg)](https://blog.theretreat.org/yes-it-really-does-get-better)

## [Yes, It Really Does Get Better.](https://blog.theretreat.org/yes-it-really-does-get-better)

 \[fa icon="calendar'\] Mar 22, 2017 9:00:00 AM / by [John MacDougall](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-macdougall) posted in [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/alcoholics-anonymous), [AA meetings](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/aa-meetings), [Sober Housing](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/sober-housing), [Recovery Program](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/recovery-program), [Drugs Adiction](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drugs-adiction)

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We all know that addiction, whether to alcohol or other drugs, is brutal. Not everyone is sure that, in recovery, we get better. I believe that we can all get better in recovery. Life gets better for the alcoholic and addict who embraces Twelve Step recovery. Life also gets better for those who leave behind the alcoholic and addict who chooses not to recover, and seeks their own recovery.

[Read More \[fa icon="long-arrow-right"\]](https://blog.theretreat.org/yes-it-really-does-get-better)

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- [Men's Sober Residential (18)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/mens-sober-residential)
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- [help group (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/help-group)
- [women in recovery (13)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/women-in-recovery)
- [Treatment Program (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/treatment-program)
- [Drug Addiction (9)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/drug-addiction)
- [celebration (5)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/celebration)
- [COVID-19 (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/covid-19)
- [Gratitude (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/gratitude)
- [families (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/families)
- [Volunteering (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/volunteering)
- [higher power (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/higher-power)
- [Cinderella Syndrome (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/cinderella-syndrome)
- [birthday (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/birthday)
- [podcast (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/topic/podcast)

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### Posts by Authors

- [Maj Donovan (95)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/maj-donovan)
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- [Staff Blog (35)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/staff-blog)
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- [Dick Rice (12)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/dick-rice)
- [Kara F (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/kara-f)
- [John Curtiss (10)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/john-curtiss)
- [Mark Korman (6)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/mark-korman)
- [DeAnna L. (4)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/deanna)
- [Dede Armstrong (3)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/dede-armstrong)
- [Jake Lewis (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-lewis)
- [Chris Nehotte (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/chris-nehotte)
- [Alex Curtiss, M.A. (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/alex-curtiss)
- [Jenna L. (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jenna-l)
- [Pam Broz (2)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/pam-broz)
- [Nancy Kaley (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/nancy-kaley)
- [Ellie Hyatt (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/ellie-hyatt)
- [Rich Murphy (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/rich-murphy)
- [Phil F. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/philip-farzanegan)
- [Lisa D. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/lisa-d)
- [Stephen Crane (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/stephen-crane)
- [Paddy O (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/paddy-o)
- [Connie Lawrence (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/connie-lawrence)
- [Bob Bernu (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/bob-bernu)
- [Lisa Speedling (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/lisa-speedling)
- [Kevin J (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/kevin-j)
- [Jake L (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jake-l)
- [Women in Recovery (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/women-in-recovery)
- [Judge Shaun Floerke (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/judge-shaun-floerke)
- [Peter H (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/peter-h)
- [Deb Wuebker (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/deb-wuebker)
- [Jay R. (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/jay-r)
- [Cecil B (1)](https://blog.theretreat.org/author/cecil-b)
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