The disease of alcoholism and addiction shows up in our lives in the form of a voice in our heads.  That voice is like a channel of discouragement that is hard to totally eliminate. The addictive voice doesn’t have to make any sense to be effective. Because it has been there so long, and because its messages are so consistently depressing, we come to accept it, just because it wears us down.

 Hello my name is Kara and I am addicted to self-will!

Page 62 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states “So our troubles, we think , are basically of our own making.  They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot”…..um….bummer!  I don’t know about you but I have never lived in peace and riot at the same time.  Of course, I have given it one heck of an effort, but the 2 don’t mesh.  Ultimately, through experiencing both peace and unrest, I decided I would like to choose peace.  It’s one or the other. And I like peace!

Broken trust.  It’s the primary issue that family members talk about when they discuss what’s been the most difficult for them when they’ve been impacted by the disease of addiction.  They want to trust their loved ones again.  Their loved ones want to be trusted.  How do we heal something that’s become so damaged?

This simple phrase I’ve been hearing since I walked into the rooms of recovery. Today I realize it means just as much to me now as it did when I couldn't stop obsessing over a drink.