In the 1970’s and 1980’s, I attended open AA meetings for 13 years without figuring out that I was an alcoholic. This was odd, because I seemed to have a natural affinity for alcoholics and other addicts. As a pastor, I had conducted more interventions than anyone else in my town. Many evenings, I brought people to detox, and then sat up late at night learning about this disease. I taught college and graduate school courses on addiction without figuring out that I was an alcoholic and addict. I went to twelve step meetings because I really wanted to be with the people. My home group tolerated me well, because it was an open meeting. Occasionally I’d overhear someone whispering “He almost admitted it,” but I never did.
The expectation of the holiday season can be stressful for everyone. For reasons that might be obvious, that stress seems to be even greater in families dealing with recovery from a drug or alcohol addiction.
There is a simple practice that can reduce that stress and offer us the opportunity for a meaningful holiday experience; that is a mindfulness practice. It allows us to stop our racing thoughts, which are usually produced by some form of fear. It allows us to make choices that support our well-being. It allows us to be present.
The state of West Virginia has recently been noticed for a considerable increase in the amount of heroin overdoses. The state is facing a five fold increase since 2010. President Barak Obama is spearheading a solution to this problem to promote change and drug addiction prevention because the state is lacking in resources to publicly address this concern of rising rates. Although, the cause of these overdose rates are ambiguous, the signs point to the states poverty levels, unemployment rates, as well as individuals who families used drugs.
"I've got to stop auctioning myself off to the low bidder."
Back in the early 1970’s, I had the opportunity to be summer pastor at a small church in Struble, Iowa, just north of LeMars. There was little to no night life and I quickly became the gathering place for the adolescents of the town. Night after night, as July gave way to August, they would appear, telling their tales of “walking the beans” or “walking the corn” that day. As a city boy, I had no idea what they were talking about until they actually took me out to a field and invited me to “walk the beans’ with them. I was amazed at the number and variety of weeds that were growing up with the crops. I was also surprised at how quickly the work became tedious and taxing, necessary as it was.
The 12 step program is a framework for confronting problems that involve addiction, alcoholism, and pressure. Sometimes referred to as spiritual methods, the Alcoholics Anonymous(AA) program was originally started due to a text that was published in 1939. The text, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism, created the foundation that paved the way for the 12 step program of AA. Today this method is regarded as the most successful practice of abstinence.
Many of us begin our recovery as “functional agnostics”. That is, we may say we believe in a Higher Power, but we function as if we were on our own. It would be convenient if our Higher Power would show up and do something miraculous so that we could believe. It’s easy to assume that God, if there is one, should give us a “white light experience” so that we can believe.
Sometimes that happens. AA's co-founder, Bill W. had just such a miraculous experience. He had a sudden, overwhelming encounter with God, and did not doubt again. AA's other co-founder, Dr. Bob, had the educational variety of religious experience, in which he learned about his Higher Power over a period of time. This slower form is by far the most common in recovery.
One way to research whether there is an active Higher Power in our lives, is to begin looking for coincidences in recovery. Each of them could, by itself, be just a coincidence. As they pile up, however, we begin to detect the possibility that a Higher Power is at work in our lives. That possibility is scary. We wonder what this "Higher Power" might be up to next. In our anxiety, we sometimes drop the experiment. But when we keep it up, the coincidences reveal the guidance of the God of our understanding.
In treatment, or at The Retreat, we notice the way the “roommate from hell” turns into a lifetime friend; the way the assigned lecture or reading turns out to have just what we needed when we needed it; the way the unavailable sober house bed comes open just at the right time. When I married Priscilla thirty-nine years ago, we were so different that the minister who did the wedding began by saying "I never thought you two would go through with this." Over the years we really discovered how similar our childhoods and original families were, and how much we have in common inside. Of course, this could be just a coincidence.
On our honeymoon, we went off to a lonely corner of the Atlanta Airport between the two flights to our Florida destination, to have some quiet time together. A woman came up to us to ask if it was safe to fly. We told her that we were on our honeymoon, and if we thought it wasn't safe, we wouldn't go. It turns out she was on the run from an abusive husband, and was terrified both of flying and of going back to him. By coincidence, she was booked on our flight, and we rode with her to Florida. I think her Higher Power wanted her to fly to safety.
On my last afternoon working on a men's unit at Hazelden, after my work was done, I met a new patient who was lamenting that no one understood him or what his life was like. By coincidence, he was from a town I knew well. The counseling center he had been attending was set up in memory of my brother-in-law, who died of the consequences of alcoholism. We had a fine talk, he felt understood, and then I went home. His higher power and mine had given both of us a lift. Of course, It could have been just a coincidence.
I agree with the words attributed to Fred Holmquist of Hazelden that the first nine steps “will get us well but not keep us well,” that step 10 is the step that not only maintains our sobriety but begins our awakening. Early in its treatment of this step, the Big Book contains the remarkable sentence: “We have entered the world of the Spirit (page 84).”
But how do we stay in the world of the Spirit? The Big Book again is quite clear:
“What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent
on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every
day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s
will into all of our activities. (page 85).”
And how do we maintain “spiritual condition?” I find that if I am faithful to five practices in the course of a week, I have a 95% possibility of recovery and of being awake. Those practices are a 10th step throughout the day and especially at night; an 11th step spiritual practice, especially every morning; an honest conversation with my sponsor, at least once a week; participation in my home group, again weekly; and availability for service, daily. That has been my experience of myself and others. And your experience?
